Contrary to what they teach you in school, there's actually four different ways to read the time on a watch.
Now before we begin, you're probably wondering "Hey Thunder Liger, I only learned one in school".
Well guess what? Tax cuts, Obama, and creationism have pretty much ruined the education system.
Lucky for you, the internet solves all problems.
So get ready for some post-truths that will impress your next hot date.
Method #1: The Classicus Modus
That's misspelled Latin for Classic Method.
It's actually quite straightforward, you just read the goddamn time like you always have.
Small hand for the hour. Big hand for the minutes.
You writing this down Big Ben?
Method #2: The Modified Birmingham Shuffle
Invented in Great Britain at the onset of World War 2, the Birmingham Shuffle was taught to highly trained British spies sent to assassinate the leadership of Nazi Germany.
In this method, you don't wear a watch.
You walk up to someone and ask them for the time, maybe while wearing a fedora and trench coat (solely for coolness factor).
When the unsuspecting subject looks down, instead of brutal assassination, you just wait until they tell you the time.
Method #3: The Australian
This method is heavily inspired by the Classicus Modus except that you turn the watch upside down and read the time that way.
You might ask yourself "why the hell would I do that?".
The Australian isn't actually for your own watch.
You see, you read the time on someone else's watch who is in front of you.
For you men out there, it's particularly useful on a date:
- Her: I feel we really have a good conversation going on, what do you think?
- You : huh? I mean, yea, totally.
- Her: unbelievable, you were staring at my cleavage weren't you? You pervert.
- You: what? No way. I was just trying to read the time because I don't want this date to end... It's two thirty.
- Her: Oh, haha, sorry you must think I'm crazy.
Method #4: The Winklemann
What would be a blog post on our store without plugging in one of our own fine products?
The Winklemann is one of our most unique bamboo watches in that there are no hour or minute arms.
It's retro pixelation at its finest. All you get is a red dot for the hour and a black dot for the minutes.
Simple as pie and no guess work.
The obvious bonus is that it looks cool and its a watch made from wood! Guaranteed to spark a conversation and get you noticed.